Well, this is it folks.
I've officially given my notice, and will be leaving my job, and Mae Sot, later this year.
Truth be told, I gave 6 months notice, so my departure is not immediately imminent, but I have begun what is already becoming a long process of leaving.
It's hard to wrap my head around, really. By the time I go, it will be just over four years that I have lived here, which is nearly as long as I've ever lived anywhere. I think particularly because my job has been the largest identifying factor in my life here, it has become difficult to picture myself outside of it.
I feel certain, however, that it is my time to go. That isn't to say that I'm not already experiencing significant heartache, which I know will only grow, but I also feel a calmness, a surety, and indeed, relief, at my decision.
I realize that I can't very well leave a blog for a year or so and expect anyone to still be there, so I have excepted that I'm writing to the ether. But I think the idea of leaving has unlocked a lot of things in my head, and I feel full to overflowing with thoughts of Mae Sot, and life here, so I'm spilling them out here instead of letting them just dribble away.
Particularly as the timing of my departure ironically comes at a moment of great optimism for Burma. After decades of oppression, we begin to see the first signs that there may be permanent change. It is by no means yet certain, but millions of hearts are hoping, longingly, desperately, that this is the beginning of a true opening and democratization . Indicators of change have yet to include change in the border area, where conflict continues even now, and access continues to be blocked. And yet. We'll see.
So for the moment I'm caught in a tumult of mixed emotions: excitement for a new chapter, exhaustion after a very draining stint here, fear of job hunting in a close market, despair at leaving behind some of the most inspiring people I have ever met, regret at leaving at such a moment of change, concern that my sanity won't actually hold out this final six months, comfort at the thought of being closer to friends and family, confusion over whats next.
I've officially given my notice, and will be leaving my job, and Mae Sot, later this year.
Truth be told, I gave 6 months notice, so my departure is not immediately imminent, but I have begun what is already becoming a long process of leaving.
It's hard to wrap my head around, really. By the time I go, it will be just over four years that I have lived here, which is nearly as long as I've ever lived anywhere. I think particularly because my job has been the largest identifying factor in my life here, it has become difficult to picture myself outside of it.
I feel certain, however, that it is my time to go. That isn't to say that I'm not already experiencing significant heartache, which I know will only grow, but I also feel a calmness, a surety, and indeed, relief, at my decision.
I realize that I can't very well leave a blog for a year or so and expect anyone to still be there, so I have excepted that I'm writing to the ether. But I think the idea of leaving has unlocked a lot of things in my head, and I feel full to overflowing with thoughts of Mae Sot, and life here, so I'm spilling them out here instead of letting them just dribble away.
Particularly as the timing of my departure ironically comes at a moment of great optimism for Burma. After decades of oppression, we begin to see the first signs that there may be permanent change. It is by no means yet certain, but millions of hearts are hoping, longingly, desperately, that this is the beginning of a true opening and democratization . Indicators of change have yet to include change in the border area, where conflict continues even now, and access continues to be blocked. And yet. We'll see.
So for the moment I'm caught in a tumult of mixed emotions: excitement for a new chapter, exhaustion after a very draining stint here, fear of job hunting in a close market, despair at leaving behind some of the most inspiring people I have ever met, regret at leaving at such a moment of change, concern that my sanity won't actually hold out this final six months, comfort at the thought of being closer to friends and family, confusion over whats next.
Jen, congratulations on making a tough decision. I'm excited to see what comes next!
ReplyDeleteI'm still here and reading!
ReplyDeleteYour friends and family are very thrilled to have you closer, and we'll do our best to help you over the next few months. Regular skype dates?
ReplyDelete