Had a little freak out tonight when I realized I'm leaving tomorrow, and was suddenly concerned that I didn't have a visa.... oh wait.... I don't need one to go home... Clearly I've been spending too much time in countries not my own. The actual concern, is whether I will be able to get back into Thailand.... The protests have escalated over the weekend into what the Bangkok Post is now calling a 'war zone' in downtown Bangkok. A friend traveling through last night said she didn't encounter any problems, but could see smoke from fires (the protesters are setting tires on fire so they can hide in the smoke from the army snipers). Today the Senate offered to mediate, and the UDD accepted, but the prime minister refused to participate in talks until the UDD called off the protests. The stand off continues...
As bazaar as my actual reality here is... it still seems quite unreal to be heading 'home' tomorrow. Last week I was so excited I could hardly stand it. This week I feel anxious. Both because I've only had a week here, and am longing to feel settled for at least a minute, I'm getting back into the groove with work, and seeing local partners again has made me loathe having to leave them again. I was a (one of eight million) an IRC 'coordination' meeting today, which most of our local partners also attended, and one feedback voiced to GHAP was that we are away too often. Now, there is _always_ at least one or two people here in our office, but they want Jade/Linda/and I to always be here. Hard enough with the travel we do for work - just adding to the guilt when we go to see our families/friends. I'm also anxious about how I will react to being back. This will be the longest I'll be in the US since coming here. I'm afraid I'll regret my decision to stay on here. But I'm also afraid that I won't fit in there anymore. I think that's called a no-win situation...
Despite the anxiety, I am still extremely looking forward to my visit. It's a whirlwind tour (eight cities in 4 weeks), but absolutely worth it (NYC->Baltimore->Brookeville->Seattle->Berkeley->LA->DC->Richmond). I was even recently contacted by an old friend from 6th grade in Seattle, who I am going to meet up with when I'm out there. Crazy.
Anyway, headed out to Bangkok tomorrow night, to America the night after. If you are on my route, I very much hope to see you.
No comments:
Post a Comment